Chimera Chronicles IZ: Book One
by Silverbeast
Summary: This is a medieval iz fanfic. Awful creatures, enchantments, curses, trickery, romance, action, adventure, and battle are all to be expected. We begin, of course, at the beginning, joining Dib where his nightmare begins.
1. Goat boy

Dib crouched down close to the hill, peering over its peek. The forest's edge was two hundred yards away. From deep within the shadowy trees, a figure was emerging. Dib leaned forward. The figure paused.

For one sinking moment, Dib thought he might have been spotted. But no. The figure drifted to the edge of the shadows, almost within the light. A second figure appeared behind it.

"Baaaeh!" A goat bleated in Dibs ear.

"Oh geez!" Dib fell over backwards, out of sight of the woods.

The primary dark figure became alert, looking around itself. The only things in sight were miles of rolling green hills and a scattered trip of goats. The shadow visibly relaxed, and turned to converse with the second figure.

Dib peeked back over the hill. "They're coming," he whispered. A nearby goat responded by nibbling at the long black stripe of hair that swept back across his head. "Ow. Hey," he protested quietly. "Quit it, Agent Darkbooty," Dib commanded. The goat bleated dumbly.

The figure was moving again. In his uncontainable excitement, Dib dug his hands into the grass and clung to the side of the hill, as if he was somehow in danger of falling off its subtle slope.

There- the creature was in the open. It was smaller than a grown man, but was still quite ominous. It had sickly green skin and bulging red eyes. Two horrid antennae rose from its scalp, and visibly separate from its sinister clothing was a silver hemisphere that clung to its back like some great parasitic beetle.

The second figure stepped into the light as well. It was a spirit of sorts, a strange ghost. Or perhaps some form of demon? Its skin glinted like fine polished armor and its eyes glowed like freshly cut diamonds. It cloaked itself in the skin of a green dog, and laughed and yowled like an ancient banshee.

The two beings began to make there way towards he town.

Dib sat back. He must go and warn the others. If those two monsters caught the town unaware, there would surely be havoc and destruction. Rising slightly, he backed away from the scene. When he felt he was far enough from the beasts, he turned and ran.

...

"I SAW THEM I SAW THEM!" Dib was running down the cobblestone road, waving his arms wildly.

"You saw what, goat boy?" asked Sara the Healer, glancing down from the high window of her cottage.

"THE CREATURES! The horrible creatures I've been talking about!" Dib turned in circles, trying to get the attention of the common passerby.

"You're crazy!" accused Zita, who shortly retuned her attention to gossiping with Brian.

"No! No! You must listen to me! All of you! The horrible creatures are heading this way right now!"

The people around him groaned and moved away.

"No! Listen!" Dib fell to his knees, begging people to pay attention.

…

Message to the public:

A week from this day the kingdom is invited to the great castle in celebration of Princess Niki's* sixteenth birthday. Join us in feasting and entertainment.

Message courtesy of the royal messenger by order of the King

…

…

…

Notes:

~The first chapter is a bit short. I know. For organization's sake, bear with me!

~The ages of characters such as Dib and his class range between late 15 and mid 17.

~Zim, although not as tall as Dib and the other humans, has grown taller thanks to a higher concentration of certain gasses in the air than what he is used to.

*Niki is the name I dubbed the blonde haired popular girl who refers to Zim as inhuman in the episode 'Bestest Friend'. If you know what her real name is, please tell me so that I can replace it immediately. As far as I can tell, she is nameless.


	2. Hats for goatees

Chapter 2: Hats for goatees

"WHEEEEHEEOOO! WEEHEEHEEOO!"

"GIR! Get back here! And be quiet. We don't want any human pig scum to notice us."

"I'm on a goat!" GIR rode around on the back of a furious mangy animal which was completely determined to buck him off. "WHEEE!" GIR flew from the beast and landed upside down on his head. "I liiiike you," GIR squealed at the goat.

"GIR!" Zim snatched up his minion before the animal could dent him with its nubby horns. "Stop playing around, GIR. This is serious." Zim set GIR down and turned to face the sun. "This day, we will infiltrate our enemy. This day is the beginning of the end for this accursed planet earth."

"I HAVE A GOATEE!"

Zim whirled around. GIR was wearing one of the smelly animals like a beard. Zim sighed. "Just come on."

They tromped on a while longer.

When the village was in sight, Zim stopped and pulled GIR behind a large bush. "Ok, GIR. Here is where we devise our disguises. They must be cunning and flawless." He tapped on his pak. It wouldn't contain as many options as a proper disguise pod included in an irken voop, but in the absence of a ship, it would do just as well. Zim scrolled through a few possibilities, and settled on a simple black wig and human-eye contacts. The pak buzzed and whined as it fabricated the pieces. "Now GIR, for your disguise."

"I wanna be mongoose."

"Quiet, GIR. For you, I'm thinking… maybe… a dog."

"Can I be a mongoose dog?"

Zim ignored this, once again scrolling through options. After some thought, he picked a large yellow hound. When his pack had stopped its insistent buzzing, Zim inspected GIR's costume. Gir was a small green dog with poorly sown black arms and legs. "INGENIUOS!" Zim yelled. "Now we must establish ourselves in the earthen community and create our base."

"Yahehe!" GIR snickered, and quietly started singing. "Doomy doomy doom…"

…  
Dib was on the lookout. "No one listens to me," he muttered. "No one! Saving the town, no the kingdom, no the _world_ is all up to me. I must capture the creature before it can do anything… anything…" he was at a loss of words. "Anything bad. And then, everyone will see that I'm… I'm…"

"HEY DIB!" someone yelled down from a window above him. "You're crazy! Why do you talk to yourself?"

Dib grumbled and shuffled on. He continued to speak, but the words muffled under his breath. He looked up from his silent rage, and did a double take.

A strange green lad was scratching his chin in front of the butcher's shop. "So… what exactly do you sell here?" he asked.

The butcher blinked. "Meat," he said in an uninterested tone.

The green boy raised an eyebrow, or at least he would have if he'd had one. "Meat?" he inquired. "Nothing else? How did these smelly carcasses get here? What instruments of doom and destruction did you use to torture them? Aren't you selling those?"

"DOOM!" squealed the green dog behind the boy.

"No." said the butcher. "I sell meat." He pointed at the bunch of maggoty remains of animals he had hanging from the ceiling.

"_That's_ your earth meat? Inferior human, what could you possibly use it for?"

The butcher spit off to the side. "You eat it, genius."

The boy stepped back in horror. "You _eat _those disgusting things?"

The butcher looked down his nose at the lad, vaguely annoyed. "Look. If you're one of those vegetarian types, go down to the market and get some beans or rice. Quit bothering me."

The boy tipped his head to the side. "What are beans?"

"AH-HA!"

Dib pointed triumphantly at the green boy. "IT'S ONE OF THE MONSTERS!"

"YAY!" GIR screamed.

"And there's the other one!" Dib said, jumping up and down a couple times. "Look at them! Look at them!"

A crowd had begun together. The green boy looked back and forth nervously. Dib smiled, a hunter closing in on its prey. Someone groaned from amidst the gaggle of people. "Oh, not this again," they said tiredly.

"Look!" insisted Dib. "He's a horrible blood thirsty beast. I'll prove it. Look at his head! It's green! And what about his ears? He doesn't have any!"

The crowd grumbled.

The green boy stuck his nose in the air. "It's a skin condition."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "A skin condition? No ears is part of your _skin _condition?"

The green boy looked down as if ashamed. "Yes."

"Man, Dib!" said someone in the crowd. "You think that just because someone looks different, you can call them a monster? What about your huge head? Does that make you evil or something?"

"No!" Dib sputtered. "I'm from around here! You all know me! This odd stranger with green skin and a demon dog obviously came from far away, and you all trust and accept him without even knowing who or what he is!"

"He has a point," someone said. "Who are you and where are you from, small green man?"

The boy thought for a moment. "I am Zim, short for… Zimmion. This is my mongoose hound GIR. I am a… a hatter, and I come from the small town of," he took an especially long time to think of this, "Shpeckendwarf."

"Oh!" said some deluded person from within the mob. "I've heard of Shpeckendwarf. It's so lovely there."

Dib looked completely unamused. "You aren't a hatter," he said.

"He sure acts like one," testified the butcher.

"I am definitely a hatter!" Zim said proudly. He reached behind him and yanked the machinery out of his pack that had made the disguises. In the broken mangled state it was now in, it did look somewhat like the tools of a hatter. Snagged in part of the machinery was a large piece of cloth. "See?" he said.

Dib smiled. "I do see, Zim," he said. "And since you seem to have all of your materials right here, why don't you demonstrate that for us? Make a hat."

Zim began to sweat. "I can't do that."

"Why not? Make me a hat, Zim."

"I can't make you a hat because… because I make them for pigs. And cows," Zim said quickly.

"And chickens!" added GIR.

"Yes. And chickens."

"And goats!"

"Shut up, GIR. Yes. I make hats for pigs and cows and chickens and goats. And you, _Dib_, although an inferior pig human, are not nearly piggy enough for the awesome hats of ZIM!"

Dib's eyes were twice there normal size. "THERE!" he yelled. "He claims he makes hats for livestock! His dog just talked! And he called me 'an inferior pig human'! You all can't possibly tell me that's normal!"

"You're crazy!" Zita said from somewhere in the back of the crowd.

"What? You have got to be kidding me! No! Don't leave!" Dib ran after the dispersing townsfolk, but no one minded him. He stalked back to Zim. "This isn't over!" he said.

Zim laughed. "Stupid Dib-slime. No one can defeat Zim."

Dib was still yelling uselessly as Zim walked away.


End file.
